As the process and role of coaching continues to evolve and gain traction, many people start asking the question, “What is coaching?”
There’s an assumption that it’s just some passing fad. People don’t believe that they need a coaching, that the changes they want to make can happen without any help.
But too often, that’s just not the case. There’s something special, almost magical about the coaching relationship. It’s a safe space for people to explore the depths of their own soul and discover the power that lies dormant within. It’s a chance for people to make real, life-long and deeply satisfying changes. It’s also a space for courageous declaration of what we want, desire, and need out of life. In coaching, people learn who they really are and what they need to be fully satisfied.
So if you’re looking for a coach (and I think you should be) here are three great characteristics to look for.
1.) The mirror quality. A good coach holds up a mirror to reflect back what is being said. Each and every one of us spends at least part of our life living someone else’s story. We go into the family business because ‘it’s the right thing to do’, or we hold the political views of our friends so we can fit in, or we honor the values of a close loved one even though we’re not sure why. In a variety of ways, we all live someone else’s story that they want us to be a part of.
Coaching holds up a mirror to those values and relationships and examines if they are what we really want. Are the values we live to make others happy really personal values? If so, we can keep them. If not, we can set them aside. By holding up the mirror to examine who we are, and who we really want to be, coaching creates catalyze for change.
2.) Championing. Great coaching champions people forward. Our world is full of images and telling that we can’t or won’t. We’re not smart enough, strong enough, education enough, or have the right friends. We don’t look the part, don’t have the right clothes, or haven’t slept with the right people. In a world full of the noise of, “You can’t!” a great coach counters this by saying, “You can! I believe in you!”
You are smart enough. You are strong enough. You do have the answers you seek. You have what you need inside of you to make the changes you want (or know how to find what you need).
The coach doesn’t have to be the expert on your life, because you are. You know what it will take to have the life you want, what you need to say yes and no to, and the coach helps champion you forward. By being in an intentional relationship with a coach, the positive effects of the relationship create bigger, faster, and longer lasting change.
3.) Challenge. Growth doesn’t happen without being challenged. By staying in our comfort zone, we agree to never adapt, learn, try new things, or reach or goals. Those only happen when we decide to step out of our comfort zone, into the unknown ad boldly dare to try new things.
The coaching relationship is accepting to be challenged and changed. As a coach, I often throw something out and there’s usually a moment of silent reflection as someone wrestles with the implications. It’s a struggle, because while we as people may hate the bad stuff that we do, and the complaining that goes with it; it’s easier to complain that to change.
So if you hate your job and the challenge is to send out ten resumes in the next week, the thought of that is a mixture of equal parts fear and excitement. In that moment, it must be decide which voice will be listened to: fear or adventure?
Great coaching will challenge you to see the change you desire by holding your life up to a mirror. My examining where you’re at, and where you want to go, a coach will help champion you forward to see the change you desire.
If you’re interested in having a coaching experience, contact me and schedule you’re free Power Session and take the first step today.